Monday, September 06, 2010

You Can't Buy Math Skills

You can't buy math skills, God knows, I've tried. Since entering the ranks of college student, I've spent approximately five thousand dollars over the years and even with that sizable investment, let's just say my math skills will NEVER land me into a position that requires any sense of fluency in mathematical equations.

I thought I had paid my dues, and those days of public humiliation were behind me, a distant memory, OK, more like suppressed, nightmarish hell. My last attempt led to weekly pain. It never failed, the teacher would call on me, having changed the scope and requirements of the assignment as I walked from my desk to the front of the room. To add more humiliation he was ALWAYS sure to call on the "other" Lisa, who happened to work for NASA, and LOVED math. Every week she would exclaim "Math IS life!" I hated that statement. It grated on my last nerve much like Mrs. Smith's curled fingernails scraping down the blackboard. Much like a school girl, I found pleasure when others would mock her weekly declaration.

In the end of Public Humiliation 1 and 2, I received an A- covering material from Algebra through Trigonometry. To this day I believe the teacher graded me on my endurance, for my ability to hold it together. In ten weeks, he was unable to make me crack, not that he saw at least. I was built with an instinctual sense of not allowing others to see when they've hurt me, which he confused for spunk.

One week in class, he changed the format of the assignment, then added more than I had prepared for. That was a snapping point for me, when he suggested that I ENLIGHTEN the class. Not quite sure how to react, fighting back tears, seeing red, I glared back defiantly. "Once you have taught me, mater, to the point that I've reached mathematical enlightenment I'll be more than happy to share my experience. Until that time, this is the BEST you're going to get."

I figured I paid my dues by now, but I just received my latest schedule and lo and behold, they've signed me up for yet another math class. Maybe, just maybe this time around I will somehow get it, but I'm not going to hold my breath.