Where's The Owner's Manual?

It seems to me that we’ve not made any progress on the “owner’s manual” for children. I’ve been searching for the past twenty years, my mother searched before me, and I recently went to a baby shower, and although on the registry, not one copy was found.

Sure, they offer child’s first year, to help you deal with colic, fevers, breast-feeding or bottle, finding a pediatrician, but that is hardly my idea of an Owner’s Manual. I’ve seen more detail from the auto manufacturers for their new models than is available for the most important investment known to mankind.

With all the self-proclaimed experts, no one has cornered that niche. I would, except honestly even after twenty years in the field I have no clue as to any tried and true techniques that work in all scenarios. I have three boys with the same genetics, and they couldn’t be any more extreme without being from foreign galaxies. What works for one only aggravates the situation with the others. I have the gentle giant, whose calm demeanor is a gift from heaven at times. On the other end of the spectrum, I have three boys that have all been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder with hyperactivity thrown in.

I’ve often asked my mother if when she placed the “curse” upon me, as all parents do, she in fact hired a High Priest to oversee the ceremony to assure that it stuck. What are the odds…three out of four hyperactive children? I’ve wondered at times, could I have been that terrible to my parents. I grew up too afraid to act out. I had two foster brothers tell me that no one would want to adopt me since I was no longer a baby, and if they did, I had better be perfect or they would ship me back. That stuck, as a child, I spoke back to no one, don’t recall throwing tantrums, very polite and respectful to all adults that crossed my path. It wasn’t until I turned seventeen that I realized it was useless to send me back by then, so I let go, and rebelled, with a capital R. It is my curse though that brought about the short attention span for the boys; I can’t even attempt to deny that. If I tried, I’d be humiliated by the roar of laughter coming from those I tried to convince.

I think I understand why no one wants to corner that niche…no one has a clue as to what works and what doesn’t. We are all grabbing at straws when it comes to raising children. The experts give us their words of wisdom; find out it didn’t work and try Plan B on the next generation.

I remember when my eldest son was younger, the rage for all the experts was to avoid at all cost damaging a child’s frail sense of self. See where that led. Now, if there is no answer, a new acronym is created as an answer. Any current expert would be sure to annihilate their hopes of a career if they were to step out on that limb. It would be suicide for their career to even attempt to claim to have the answer to raising children.

Sure, we can act as if we have answers, but as the saying goes, we find the answers and the question changes. So, I guess until some brave soul is brave enough to find the answer and share it with all of us that are grappling at trying to raise children, we’ll all keep moving along, doing the best that we can with what we have available to us. If a manual does surface, I’d like to pre-order mine today.