Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Dear Miss Manners

We have plans to visit a childhood friend of my boyfriend's. Everything was set, time and place. When the idea of visiting them was first brought to my attention it was more of a family get together. My boyfriend and his friend go back many years, to junior high school I think. Both now have kids, although our sons are much older than their children. It'll be a fun family time. To keep peace in my house, it sounds like a harmless idea. It keeps me out of the doghouse, and keeps that one issue that pops up with every disagreement. His one jab every time is that I NEVER like HIS friends. So, I told him I thought it would be great.

Well, that excitement for his reunion came to a screeching halt. Apparently he spoke to his childhood friend yesterday, and the guy announced that he paid for his wife to have a breast job. According to the conversation, it was well worth the $8000. However, as the conversation is being relayed to me, it seems THEY are quite proud of the new "additions". So proud of their investment that their conversation was interrupted because apparently her new girls were being displayed to and evaluated by a visitor that had stopped by. According to her husband, she just can't help it, she has to show them off to EVERYONE. So, being a good friend, he warned my boyfriend not to worry if she happens to flash the girls at him during our visit, she just wants EVERYONE to see and evaluate them.

You know, people should have a mute button for their lips, some sort of alarm goes off when they are straying off track and their brain is not activated to their speech, but unfortunately they haven't designed one as of yet.

Apparently while he was talking to me, I became distant, and he thought maybe the line had gone dead. He mumbled about that taking off as well as a lead balloon, and couldn't understand why I HAVE ISSUES? Hmmm...

So, let's recap, I am going to spend the day with a woman who happens to be maybe ten years younger than me, who has said, oh, maybe 2 words to me in the 5+ years that we've known of each other, and now has a tendency for showing off her chest to ANY guy who happens to be around, because she is just so damn proud of them. Her husband, as he put it, just doesn't know what to do about his wife's actions. One of the only reasons my boyfriend is still walking today is that he told his friend, you know, this could get awkward, I don't think Lisa will appreciate if your wife starts exposing herself while we're visiting. This was met with, well, I'll try to talk to my wife, but I can't guarantee that she'll listen. This great effort brought forth by the man who already was so excited to share the news himself including cost. Who watches as his wife is having them closely analyzed by ANYONE who happens to visit. Somehow that does not bring great comfort to me.

Now, I'm a pretty liberal thinker, I don't generally have issues with choices others make. Well, as long as those choices are not being flashed in the face of my significant other, or worse yet, my three teenage boys. Somehow, maybe it's just me, but I'm not seeing my issues in this scenario. If I choose not to accept this invitation, it is seen that I'm antisocial, and it'll justify his "see, you NEVER like my friends"; if I do go, someone WILL get hurt should the "girls" decide to make an appearance.

Exactly, how would Miss Manners handle this? Me, I'm just trying to determine who will be the first victim in my moment of rage, which is the one guarantee I can make.

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