Selective Stupidity is a Dysfunction Not a Disorder

I know I should be a pro at handling manipulative personalities. I faced Family Court repeatedly until one judge FINALLY told my ex to stop trying to use the system to harass me. I've watched teacher drool over a man showing up at school to make sure my sons' shoelaces were tied, while rolling their eyes at me for ONLY putting together a school yearbook. I've watched while a loved one slips away and his own daughter claims she didn't show up because her brother seems to WANT to handle everything. I still haven't a clue how to battle it and WIN. Sure, I have a wicked tongue, am the Queen of grudges, and have mastered silent treatment for a short reprieve from their games, but key terms here, SHORT REPRIEVE, not CURE.

Although I have plaques, email, spoken, formal and informal accolades for a job well done, I have a thorn in my side. The latest, I found out through a very upset, angry caller, while they were blowing off steam, that apparently I must be a untrustworthy moron, because I hadn't bothered to change an outdated voicemail greeting on my phone. It threw me off a bit, put me off guard, and left me feeling embarrassed by this apparent lack of attention to detail.

So, after apologizing to the woman, I decided to figure out what she could have possibly meant by her jabs. Lo and behold, I went to voicemail on my phone, going to settings. Instead of being the greeting that took some time to reach my acceptance, it was a stranger's voice, giving information for a different department, lacking relevance to the group I work with.

Well, I've dealt with this culprit now for almost two years, I've talked to her, email, formal letters, conferences. No matter what approach it seems to be forgotten or just fallen on deaf ears to begin with. I decided, this time would be different. I'll kill her with kindness. Isn't that what my mom always told me? So, I send her a Thank you note, for taking on the duty of updating my voicemail greeting, however, possibly should she choose to do this again, maybe, just maybe she might mention it. In return I receive this apologetic, "It will NEVER happen again" response. I hate those, because I feel bad when I think I might have hurt someone's feelings.

Today, I find an email from this woman, delegating my job to me, with the comment of I KNOW you LIKE to be aware of all that is happening, so I'm passing this along in case you want to do something with it. If and when I confront her on this, I know, as she's done repeatedly, for WAY TOO Long, she'll shrug, giggle and say she didn't mean it. She'll get yet another hand holding meeting to make sure she feel okay, and this pattern will just continue on.

You'd figure with unemployment figures being as high as they are at the moment, that maybe, JUST MAYBE companies would tire of these individuals that suck the life out of an organization, put morale in the gutter, while they pick off effective, efficient, team players through frustration.

I just don't understand. IF there is a method of battling this behavior and truly make it stop, please, PLEASE let me in on the secret. Selective stupidity is NOT a disorder, it's merely creates dysfunction. Help me make the madness STOP!!

Just Wait Until Next Lifetime

First and foremost, I’d like to thank those who still came by to visit during my absence. It was completely unintended, however, I’ve just experienced what must be the longest two weeks of my entire existence on earth. Usually time flies right by for me, and oftentimes I pray for just a couple of extra hours in any given week. Mental note, it is true to be careful what you wish for. I had hopes of those extra hours coming during a vacation, weekend getaway, even an office holiday. Instead it came in the form of having an additional person moving into the already chaotic house.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family dearly, they mean the world to me, but…My time has been filled with repeated conversations with my father in law, who bless his heart is reminding me of ten second Tom from Adam Sandler’s Fifty First Dates. Then when I think all is lost, he catches me sneaking his payment back for ice cream. He remembers that he meant to buy gas each and every time he gets in the car.

It’s been an interesting ride I must say. We haven’t always gotten along all that well. He’s not always been my advocate. I am the one who stole his son away from him, and he reminds me of it frequently. Well, not as frequently these days. Next lifetime, I’m coming back as a high strung, high maintenance blond bombshell. Watch out, a hang nail will be the end of my world, and EVERYONE will endure my pain.

I recently read a book by Sylvia Browne that says we create our charts before we enter a life. Mine must have been full of fine print, and I must have still had my ADHD on the other side and therefore did not fully comprehend all that I was signing up for. My astrology reports all mention my early childhood trauma, but with that I thought that would free up the years that I would be fully functional. They claim that I’m to be a teacher, writer, psychologist or a community leader, all very noble vocations.

Today I don’t feel like any of those things. Instead I feel I’ve been beat up, washed up, everything but hungry. Life has been moving at a high rate of speed yet time is standing still. Next time I’m opting for the kiddie coaster of life…the Merry go round is more my speed.

Thorn In My Side

It’s been quite an interesting few days in my life. My father-in-law was having every form of symptom known to man, that was healed, completely cured when I told him I was on my way to pick him up. With the symptoms I was hearing about, it surely wasn’t safe for him to be alone in his house.

Top that, with a job offer to be a nanny for my neice through the rest of this year, yanked out from under my feet. They found someone for less money, so they had to do what was best for them. Granted in most cases money is a motivating factor, but I’ve yawned through many a boast of $3,500 earrings, $10,000 living room sets, blah, blah, blah. Now she’s worried about saving money on her daughter’s care.

Follow that up with an ex-girlfriend that has been a thorn in my side for five years. She won’t climb back under her rock. While on the desktop in our room, I got an IM message from her…OK, so I know she wasn’t addressing me, but she still uses cute little nicknames and writes Luv ya. To say the least, this does NOT go over very well with me.

I’m drafting an email to get to the bottom of this one. The only time I’ve kept in touch with someone who I broke up with was when the court ordered it for the children’s sake, so needless to say, I don’t understand her mentality. She’s been asked nicely to stop, and instead just seems to find new approaches. Whatever the case, the motives don’t seem good to me.

Do I face it, as I now have an email address? Do I just accept that she is not going away? Somehow, someway, this thorn needs to be pulled out before it festers. Any advice, love to hear it. I'm quickly running out of ideas and patience here.