I know I should be a pro at handling manipulative personalities. I faced Family Court repeatedly until one judge FINALLY told my ex to stop trying to use the system to harass me. I've watched teacher drool over a man showing up at school to make sure my sons' shoelaces were tied, while rolling their eyes at me for ONLY putting together a school yearbook. I've watched while a loved one slips away and his own daughter claims she didn't show up because her brother seems to WANT to handle everything. I still haven't a clue how to battle it and WIN. Sure, I have a wicked tongue, am the Queen of grudges, and have mastered silent treatment for a short reprieve from their games, but key terms here, SHORT REPRIEVE, not CURE.
Although I have plaques, email, spoken, formal and informal accolades for a job well done, I have a thorn in my side. The latest, I found out through a very upset, angry caller, while they were blowing off steam, that apparently I must be a untrustworthy moron, because I hadn't bothered to change an outdated voicemail greeting on my phone. It threw me off a bit, put me off guard, and left me feeling embarrassed by this apparent lack of attention to detail.
So, after apologizing to the woman, I decided to figure out what she could have possibly meant by her jabs. Lo and behold, I went to voicemail on my phone, going to settings. Instead of being the greeting that took some time to reach my acceptance, it was a stranger's voice, giving information for a different department, lacking relevance to the group I work with.
Well, I've dealt with this culprit now for almost two years, I've talked to her, email, formal letters, conferences. No matter what approach it seems to be forgotten or just fallen on deaf ears to begin with. I decided, this time would be different. I'll kill her with kindness. Isn't that what my mom always told me? So, I send her a Thank you note, for taking on the duty of updating my voicemail greeting, however, possibly should she choose to do this again, maybe, just maybe she might mention it. In return I receive this apologetic, "It will NEVER happen again" response. I hate those, because I feel bad when I think I might have hurt someone's feelings.
Today, I find an email from this woman, delegating my job to me, with the comment of I KNOW you LIKE to be aware of all that is happening, so I'm passing this along in case you want to do something with it. If and when I confront her on this, I know, as she's done repeatedly, for WAY TOO Long, she'll shrug, giggle and say she didn't mean it. She'll get yet another hand holding meeting to make sure she feel okay, and this pattern will just continue on.
You'd figure with unemployment figures being as high as they are at the moment, that maybe, JUST MAYBE companies would tire of these individuals that suck the life out of an organization, put morale in the gutter, while they pick off effective, efficient, team players through frustration.
I just don't understand. IF there is a method of battling this behavior and truly make it stop, please, PLEASE let me in on the secret. Selective stupidity is NOT a disorder, it's merely creates dysfunction. Help me make the madness STOP!!
