I'm Still A Hit

Alright, I’m still a hit, of course, I’ve had to lower my usual standards, it used to be the under 12 crowd, then the 10 and under, and lately even the ten year olds have outgrown me, so now it’s down to 2 and under, and I’ve noticed even that crowd occasionally gives me a look that implies I may be teetering on lame.

Interesting week. Trading in temporarily at least the corporate games for the Lil Tikes. Corporate games cause me problems. I was brought up to tell it like it is, not to indirectly, passively imply that someone has done something that they may or may not have done, based on me having a bad moment. You know what, the Fisher Price games are much less stressful, more real, and much more fun. OK, so stomping someone that is a waste of 3-D space may be fun to some, most times, the one stomped doesn’t have the intelligence to figure out what they did to get stomped, they cry to someone, and next thing you know it’s off to Human Resources to explain the importance of being politically correct.

More accurately, I’ve become my niece’s own personal toy. She’s much nicer to me than the kid in the Hollywood rendition. I still have it…for years I was a hit with the twelve and under, then with video games today, I can no longer compete. So, I moved to the ten and under. I pulled that off until they all discovered girls and the mall, so I have to take what I can get. I’ve giggled, danced, sang, made silly faces, and have suddenly recalled Cookie Monster’s voice to ad lib on their first story books.

Alanis has her list of recommendations, here’s one of mine. If given the opportunity, let loose, live a second childhood while still at a phase in your life where you can enjoy and remember it. I think I’ve experienced more this week, been more alert, awake to life than in many years. I’ve taken off a few years in my age, mind, soul.

Given the choice between corporate games and Fisher Price…Fisher Price wins hands down. Now just hopefully it isn’t true that your face freezes if you squish it up for too long, that will definitely impact my newfound fountain of youth.

My question was answered and it doesn't look good

Today was such a sad awakening. Everyone has been in awe of my sister in law, living in a prestigious neighborhood, beautiful home, lavish lifestyle. This week I've been spending my days visiting, assisting in taking care of my niece. What more could I ask for, right? Honestly, I don't believe her life is any happier than mine, and I found myself less than envious of her life.

Her neighbor's house was TP'd. Nothing different than what I've seen this summer in neighborhoods close to my home. Her neighbor, a retired NFL player, who I've had the chance to meet, chat with when I'm taking my niece for walks. Great guy, he and his wife seem focused on their family. The funny thing though, that's the only known celebrity in the area, yet his family is the only one I've come across on my adventures. Sure there are numerous playgrounds built around their community, but from all appearance it seems a ghost town. The only signs of life would be a TP'd house and graffiti laced sidewalks.

It would seem that these families live in their massive, controlled air environment, never having to step out into the world around them. It would appear that they hide in their own little world, letting no one in or out. I don't get it. No cars on the streets, no kids in the parks, only a few dogs, which I was surprised would be allowed in that environment.

So, I guess this answers my dilemma from a few days past, when I wondered how the dogs and children seemed so happy, yet the adults seemed so self-absorbed. The kids and dogs are so excited for their brief escape, to breath real air, instead of canned. The adults, are so used to being locked away in their own virtual world, safely locked inside their man made prison, that they have no clue how to interact with those in the real society. They've only chatted on-line, communicating with co-workers via remote offices using email and teleconferencing to accomplish any sense of teamwork.

Is this how we prepare for the next stage of human development. Maybe all of those science fiction flicks weren't so outlandish, as it would seem they are becoming more of a reality. So sad the state of human nature today, how we are cutting ourselves off from civilization.

My heart has been stolen, never to be returned. That's OK by me, because it was instead enlarged to encompass yet more souls in. The object of my desire isn't even aware how easily the key was found. All it took was a coo, bwmmmmm, moo. As simple as that, a connection made.

Oh, I don't believe it was all one sided. We shared a moment, a day. I'm sure to anyone around it was mumbled chit chat, but to us it was a cherished union. It was the most magnificent day I've ever had, besides with my immediate family...for them there is no replacement, merely an addition to.

Yep, this week I've been given the privilege of playing nanny for my niece. Definitely the best gig I've had. I was overwhelmed when the call came in. To me it's an opportunity to be a part of her life that unfortunately just doesn't happen often enough.

She's a precious little angel that blessed us one year ago. Gone are the days of sleeping the day away, not really knowing or realizing much in her surroundings. Now, today, we played peek a boo, sang songs, read books, took a stroll.

Last time I saw her, the time began on a difficult note, tired child, unknown person, and her mother. Easy choice for her to make. Today, all of that changed. She cooed, she gabbed up a storm, I'm sure she was filling me in on all the details of her life, and what she's seen so far. To top off the day completely, I had a helper. Natalie is eight years old, and lost her father to illness this summer. So, I got an earful today, and for once, I had the right answers...still fresh in the memory. I pictured my youngest, who was seven when his dad passed. I'm sure they were both watching over putting me in the right place at just the right moment. I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity. The mere thought of being there for someone else who really needs a friend...there's nothing better than that in the world.

I had so much fun, I can't wait to go to work tomorrow. I did have to make a disclaimer already to my sister in law. She was so proud of her daughter's precious poses, princess looks...the minute her back was turned I saw the true angel in all her scrunched up glow. My new friend walked away with a smile, a thank you, and a feeling of being heard and cared for. If we could do like the shampoo commercials, telling two people, just think what a wonderful effect that would have.

All Grown Up

Children grow up no matter what, no matter how much we want to hold on, they grow wings and soar. Granted, I've had a few extra years on this creation, however, some of those years were tarnished through his drug use, and my tough love. He's recently returned from the edge, having faced consequences for choices he's made.

For many years, he remained distant...his friends knew much more than I could ever hope. Those same people caused so many problems in his life. It was so difficult as a mother to close the door, wish him the best, pray for him often, but not allow his misery to inflict pain and suffering as well as the destruction of the remaining family unit.

He was our weakest link, not him, the child I knew and raised, but the addict. Many times showing up for a meal or a shower. Countless times, calling, begging me to loan him money, my time, my energy; me only willing to offer a prayer that he find his way back to the light of life.

That day FINALLY has arrived for him. He's now been sober for six months, and not only because incarceration forced sobriety on him, but by his own choice. He just bought a car, is employed and set to return to a local college this fall.

It's been one of the toughest journeys I've had to hike, but without the tough love, he'd most likely still be in jail or worst, dead. By the grace of God, I have my son back, and it's been such a rewarding process watching him open his wings and soar, as hard as it is to see him all grown up, becoming a mature, productive member of society. The "real" him is finally reaching the surface, and what a beautiful spirit he was hiding deep within, in the darkness.

It's funny, as parents, we really don't know what the final product will become. Our children go through so many different transformations before our very eyes. No matter what we do, we can only do the best with what we have to work with, add all of our love, try to nurture and guide. Sometimes they take a beaten path, but the true spirit will finally emerge, given time, sometimes tough life lessons. We can't beat ourselves up for the paths they choose, we are merely here to guide, love them unconditionally, sometimes that requires tough love to break through, and support them when they do come through the other side.

Today, I sigh with relief, that although I realize he's all grown up, he'll always remain my little boy.